{"id":123,"date":"2024-08-29T21:53:26","date_gmt":"2024-08-29T11:53:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/themes.pixelwars.org\/episody\/demo-01\/?p=123"},"modified":"2025-04-19T13:54:35","modified_gmt":"2025-04-19T03:54:35","slug":"no-more-mr-nice-guy-how-saying-no-saved-my-creativity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/index.php\/2024\/08\/29\/no-more-mr-nice-guy-how-saying-no-saved-my-creativity\/","title":{"rendered":"No More Mr. Nice Guy: How Saying No Saved My Creativity"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-rank-math-toc-block\" id=\"rank-math-toc\"><h2>Table of Contents<\/h2><nav><ul><li><a href=\"#no-more-mr-nice-guy\">No More Mr. Nice Guy<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#a-wake-up-call-from-viola-davis\">A Wake-Up Call from Viola Davis<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#the-power-of-protecting-your-energy\">The Power of Protecting Your Energy<\/a><\/li><li><a href=\"#a-life-transformed-by-saying-no\">A Life Transformed by Saying No<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"no-more-mr-nice-guy\"><strong>No More Mr. Nice Guy<\/strong><\/h3><p>I\u2019ve always been a people pleaser. I didn\u2019t think I was, but I was. For the longest time, I thought it was one of my better qualities. I believed that by always being nice, helpful, and accommodating, I was doing the right thing. I thought it made me a good person, the kind of person everyone liked and respected. But as it turns out, I was wrong.<\/p><p>Growing up, I figured that if I gave no one a reason not to like me, I could be friends with everyone. But life doesn\u2019t work that way. Instead of earning respect, my constant \u201cniceness\u201d often left me feeling overwhelmed, taken for granted, and, frankly, a little bitter. It took me years (and years) to realise that being a nice person wasn\u2019t serving me well\u2014it was actually draining my energy and as it turns out, my creativity.<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a-wake-up-call-from-viola-davis\"><strong>A Wake-Up Call from Viola Davis<\/strong><\/h3><p>I\u2019m over it. <\/p><p>And it seems absurd that it took me so long to realise, but like our art, we are works in progress<\/p><p>A turning point came when I stumbled across an Instagram post by Viola Davis. She said, <em>\u201cMy life got better when I realized I didn&#8217;t have to be nice. Nice got me ran over, stressed out, and disrespected. I&#8217;m not nice. I&#8217;m a good person. There&#8217;s a difference.\u201d<\/em> That hit me like a ton of bricks. Had I been confusing being nice with being good? Probably. If true, I\u2019d definitely been giving away too much of myself.<\/p><blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\"><p class=\"has-medium-font-size\"><em>I&#8217;m not nice. I&#8217;m a good person. There&#8217;s a difference<\/em>.<\/p><\/blockquote><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"the-power-of-protecting-your-energy\"><strong>The Power of Protecting Your Energy<\/strong><\/h3><p>As creative people, our time and energy are our most valuable resources. We need to protect them fiercely if we want to keep our creative spark alive. We must actively decide where we spend our time. <br>Every time I say yes to something I don\u2019t want to do, I\u2019m taking time away from what truly matters to me\u2014whether that\u2019s creating music, spending time with the family, or nurturing my mental health.<\/p><p>But if we\u2019re constantly saying yes to everyone else\u2019s demands, we end up with little left for ourselves. That\u2019s how burnout happens\u2014when you\u2019re so busy being everything to everyone else that you forget to take care of yourself.<\/p><p>Saying no doesn\u2019t make you a bad person. It doesn\u2019t even make you less nice. What it does is give you the space to prioritise what truly matters\u2014your well-being, your creativity, your passions. It\u2019s about recognising that your time is precious and finite, and that you have the right to choose how you spend it.<\/p><h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"a-life-transformed-by-saying-no\"><strong>A Life Transformed by Saying No<\/strong><\/h3><p>The truth is, constantly trying to be the nice guy is unsustainable. It leads to burnout, bitterness, and resentment\u2014none of which are desirable traits. But by setting boundaries and learning to say no, we can protect our energy, preserve our creativity, and ultimately become better, more fulfilled individuals.<\/p><p>But here\u2019s the kicker: when I started saying no, I found that I liked myself more. I felt more in control, less resentful, and more at peace with my decisions. I was no longer running on empty, trying to please everyone else. Instead, I was putting my needs first, and that was unexpectedly empowering.&nbsp;<\/p><p>It still feels weird, and I regularly catch myself <em>almost <\/em>falling into those bad lifelong habits. Compelled to do the \u2018right\u2019 thing by others <em>before<\/em> assessing whether it&#8217;s in my best interest.&nbsp;Being the perennial &#8216;nice&#8217; guy. At least now I recognise the thought patterns and arrest them quickly.<\/p><p>I wish I\u2019d learned this lesson sooner. But now that I have, it\u2019s exactly what I need. So here\u2019s to the power of \u2018no\u2019\u2014the little word that can make a big difference in your life.&nbsp;<\/p><div class=\"wp-block-post-author\"><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__avatar\"><img alt='' src='https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/My-Thumbnail-Image.png' srcset='https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/My-Thumbnail-Image.png 2x' class='avatar avatar-48 photo avatar-default' height='48' width='48' \/><\/div><div class=\"wp-block-post-author__content\"><p class=\"wp-block-post-author__name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/author\/lyndon-wesley\/\" target=\"_self\">Lyndon<\/a><\/p><p class=\"wp-block-post-author__bio\">Musician, producer<\/p><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No More Mr. Nice Guy I\u2019ve always been a people pleaser. I didn\u2019t think I was, but I was. For the longest time, I thought it was one of my better qualities. I believed that by always being nice, helpful, and accommodating, I was doing the right thing. I thought it made me a good person, the kind of person everyone liked and respected. But&#8230; <\/p>\n<p class=\"more\"> <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/index.php\/2024\/08\/29\/no-more-mr-nice-guy-how-saying-no-saved-my-creativity\/\">Read More<\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6443,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/themes.pixelwars.org\/episody\/demo-01\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/09\/audio.mp3","cover_image":"https:\/\/themes.pixelwars.org\/podcasty\/demo-01\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2024\/01\/show-03.jpg","cover_image_id":"4843","duration":"2:00","filesize":"1.83M","date_recorded":"2020-09-24 18:02:59","explicit":"","block":"","filesize_raw":"1919329","footnotes":""},"categories":[60],"tags":[68,55,67,69,65,63,64,49,66],"class_list":["post-123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-productivity-mindset","tag-burnout-and-creativity","tag-creative-mindset","tag-emotional-boundaries","tag-lessons-from-viola-davis","tag-protecting-creative-energy","tag-saying-no-with-confidence","tag-self-worth-and-creativity","tag-time-management-for-creatives","tag-work-life-balance-for-artists","is-cat-link-regular"],"featured_image_url":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-150x150.jpg","medium":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-300x170.jpg","medium_large":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-768x436.jpg","large":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-1024x581.jpg","pixelwars_core_image_size_1":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-969x550.jpg","pixelwars_core_image_size_2":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-1060x602.jpg","pixelwars_core_image_size_3":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-550x550.jpg","pixelwars_core_image_size_4":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920.jpg","1536x1536":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-1536x872.jpg","2048x2048":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920.jpg","podcasty_image_size_1":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-1060x602.jpg","podcasty_image_size_2":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-550x312.jpg","podcasty_image_size_3":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-550x550.jpg","podcasty_image_size_4":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-550x362.jpg","podcasty_image_size_5":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-300x300.jpg","podcasty_image_size_6":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-881x500.jpg","podcasty_image_size_7":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920.jpg","podcasty_image_size_8":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-1902x1080.jpg","woocommerce_thumbnail":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-300x300.jpg","woocommerce_single":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-600x341.jpg","woocommerce_gallery_thumbnail":"https:\/\/paininthearts.life\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/08\/freedom-1886402_1920-100x100.jpg"},"post_author":"Lyndon Wesley","assigned_categories":"Productivity &amp; 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